Your life; make every minute count.

Well my friends, it has been a hot second since I have written on this blog. But after some recent experiences, and seeing one of my best friends, Tay Dunn, start her own blog up, I decided it was time to put up a post.

Though it may seem so, I have not forgotten about this blog or writing posts for that matter. No, no, no. I think about this blog everyday and have been contemplating on what the next thing I should write about would be. You see, a lotttttt has happened to me over the past 7 months and I have a lot that I could give advice on or talk about. But I think the topic of choice tonight will be on living your life, and making every minute count. 

Before I get too preachy on all of this, I've decided to share a little bit about why I am where I am right now in my personal life, and why I want to remind all of yall to make every minute of YOUR personal life count. 

As most of you know, my Dad became an angel at the end of this past January. I don't like saying died or passed away because neither of these actions took place; that mans spirit is so unbelievably alive and with me constantly that I would be lying if I said I "lost him" or he "left this earth;" nope, he simply became an angel. This experience was not something I was ever prepared to face or deal with during my life, especially at age 21, and especially considering the circumstances of one taking their own life. 

This is something I won't go into detail on because I cannot even begin to explain all of the emotions that I have gone through since this took place. But it's been very difficult to push through the semester and maintain my sense of self. Honestly, I lost a lot of my sense of self when my Dad became an angel. There was a lot of need for attention, need to rebel, and I really forgot who I was as an individual to some extent. It's taken about 4 months, but I'm almost back to where I need to be right now :)

After this experience, I was really torn on what to do this summer. I felt a strong need to stay home to be with the familiar; my friends, my family, my waitressing job I've had since I was 16, etc. I felt like I needed to be with my grandmother, and my mom, and help to be their strength at a time when we were all going through a time of weakness. 

I also had the opportunity arise to take my stagehand position back at Hersheypark; working backstage on the same show that I worked on last summer. Granted, last summer was one of the best summer's of my life, but I told myself I would not take a non-performance job ever again. Not that a technical position isn't great, but my heart is in performance! And it is extremely difficult to be backstage watching others do what you love and not being able to change that; not to mention 4 times a day! 

So I was TORN.

Well, I was in my car with a friend from Hershey as well as a resident of Atlanta, discussing my dilemma. Do I stay in Atlanta with the familiar and where I may be needed most by my family, or do I take a chance, go back to being "Hershey Happy" and escape the familiarity of home? As I was asking Michael this question, I got a sign from my Dad!

I had put a bunch of his CD's on my ipod for his celebration of life service and one of them was Aaron Neville. My ipod was on shuffle while I was chatting with Michael, and all of a sudden, I asked him the above question and a song(that I had yet to hear) called "You've Got To Move" started to play. The lyrics are as follows:

You've got to move 

You've got to move 

You've got to move 

You've got to move 

When the Lord gets ready 

Get ready for you

You've got to move, oh yeah 

You've got to move 

You maybe high 

You maybe low

You maybe rich

Yeah, you maybe poor

But when the Lord gets ready

Ready for you

You've got to move, yeah

Oh, you've got to move 

It was like my Dad had just taken a ride in the car with us and put my ipod on his song of choice to tell me what to do! I was awe-struck. 

Needless to say, that was my answer. I called Hersheypark the next day to accept my job offer for the summer! :) 

Now all of this has a point.

Basically, I was overthinking things. I overthink on a daily basis; what I'm going to eat for dinner, what to wear that day, if I should or shouldn't go out that night, what my life plans are after college, etc. It's NEVER ENDING! I have come to realize that if I waste my life and my precious minutes on this earth over thinking things, that I am never going to enjoy what is happening in the moment and what's happening right in front of me. My Dad always told me "don't sweat the small stuff" and that was what I was doing! This was just one summer in my life and I was so worried about if I was or wasn't making the right decision to go or not to go to Hershey or to stay or not to stay in Georgia. Daddy-O had to step in and give me advice to just trust in the Lord and move on, and move up north! :)

Since deciding to come back to Hershey, I have been blessed in so many ways. 

~My Grandma told me this was what she wanted me to do before I even told her I had decided on it. Being my Dad's mom and how much of a hard time she's had, her blessing for me to come here was more than I could've asked for!

~I got the opportunity to live with the family of one of my best friends as well as the other stagehand I worked with last year and am working with again this year; Josh Yentsch. I am currently living with him, his parents, his little brother(16), and little sister(13). Having the experience of living with an "undivided family" and with siblings has been one of the happiest times of my life, and I've only been here a week!

~I am working on the same show as last year, but with a brand new cast that consists of some of the kindest, most fun, and most talented people I have ever met in my life! They have brought me so much joy and happiness since I got back into town and I cannot wait to spend every day of the summer with them! 

~Being in a town with people that I love and that love me, some new friends and some old friends as well as amazing bosses and mentors from last summer, have made me realize that happiness is right in front of me at ALL TIMES! I just need to open my eyes and embrace every moment and opportunity to experience this full happiness that comes my way!

~All in all, coming to Hershey has allowed me to meet people I never would've met, to be inspired by performers that continue to blow my mind with their talent everyday, allowed me to experience living with a family for an extended period of time, and allowed me the time to take a look at myself and find the "true me" again. 

I can truly say I don't think I've ever been happier than I am right now. 

Overall:

1. Trust yourself and the life you are living. Remember that even if you make a wrong choice, life will continue on! You will go to sleep, and wake up to another day and another opportunity for a fresh start to life! Just remember that there will never be another "today" or "yesterday" ever, ever again. What will you do with your today, or your tomorrow that will change you or someone else's life in a positive way?

2. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF EVERY MINUTE YOU ARE ALIVE! I cannot emphasize enough to literally soak in and cherish every breath you take! I have found happiness in laughing with a stranger in zumba class, driving down the street listening to musical theatre tracks with the windows down and the sun shining warmly on your skin, goofing off with your co-workers or cast during your long shifts, calling a loved one/family member/ or friend to share a happy moment with them, smiling at someone random when you're walking down aisles at the store. Whatever it is that you're doing, LOVE EVERY SECOND OF IT!

3. Remember to tell the people you love in your life that you love them. What I wouldn't give to have one more chance to tell my Daddy that I loved him one more time... One of the last times I called my Dad, I was dreading it because he always talked for a long time, and I was busy that night. He never answered though, and little did I know, he would never answer the phone for me ever again. Take time in your day to remember those that love you and remember to share that with them, and share it meaningfully! People will come and go in life, but there are some you NEED to keep close. Those family members and friends that you rarely see but fall in love with them when they're around you? Show them you care more than normal. Call them, text them, picture message them a moment from your day, send a card, leave a facebook comment, or tweet them even! Whatever it may be, remember those that remember you! The people I love in my life make my world go round, and I, myself, need to remember to tell them they do so more often.

4. Breathe & take time to slow down every single day and reflect on the choices you are making. I began rushing through a lot of my life and not caring about the choices I was making and lost myself as a person. Since coming back to Hershey, I'm remembering and finding me again. But it took slowing down, sitting back, and looking at my life to see that I wasn't happy with the "me" I was becoming.  

5. Smile. Always and always. I promise you, if you feel bad or if someone around you is feeling bad, smiling or allowing yourself to laugh will only make things better. Remember this next time you are in a down mood. 

Well my friends, that is all I have for tonight. Take into consideration each of these 5 things today, or tomorrow, or whenever you read this post and ask yourself this question:

In your life, are you making every minute count? If not, start doing that. :) 

Because your life IS worth it. 

So that is that.



If I died today, I would want you to know these things.



xo, Jell.