I've learned a lot about radical grace in the last weeks of my life and I've learned that until recently, I don't think I ever fully understood what it was. Between the amazing preachings at Passion City, and reading an incredible book written by my sweet friend, Lynne Moyer, called 'City of Lights,' I've finally begun to grasp it deeper.
I've been learning that grace doesn't just exist with God, but grace is within every human being on this planet... everyone was made in His image and everyone has that grace inside. But pulling out the grace (the deepest inner sunshine) and sharing it with others isn't always the easiest thing to do.
However, it's doable. But it's all in small (I'm talking they can be TINY) choices and decisions. Weather you're an atheist, a Christian, a spiritual Buddhist, or simply a universe lover, we all have grace. And we all have ability to use ours for the better good of the world and for all people.
My friend Lynne's book is a brilliant and grace-FILLED one, where she in depth discusses her and her husbands mission of aiding to the homeless people in Chicago. She details in the book about "getting into the trenches with the homeless of their tent communities in that city." She talks about how Gods grace and love have no boundaries and can't be defined by fear or being scared to go out of our comfort zones. Her book, was written from her experiences in her blog (coincidence or God wink?). She has embodied the actions and love that have given me the courage to do the same in my own life (and maybe even write a book one day too!). Actions that I've always tried to execute, but now am seeing them on a different level. Rather than just loving others, loving others fearlessly.
Yesterday, contrary to most Sundays at Passion City, we had a guest speaker, Pastor Carl Lantz from Hillsong Church in NY. Carl has been known to be "not your typical Sunday preacher"... and he's not.
Carl is super physically fit, edgy haircut, super fashionable style, with tattoos all over his arms: not your typical Sunday preacher. Then again, when did "typical" become a defined norm of how a preacher should be or dress or look?! Thus I digress. Topics for another day :)
Carl preached beautifully and powerfully about how we have to be Jesus lovers and a home church that look at ourselves and how we're living and loving before we point fingers and judge others. He said "don't let it upset you when you see people in church that you wouldn't have over to your home." We should essentially be craving that! If we're worried more about affecting souls rather than judging sin, our church homes and our worlds would most likely look radically different.
What if you saw someone dressed in rags at the restaurant you worked at, coming into your office building, or sitting next to you at church? If we're being honest with ourselves, it may be "Gross. Why are they here? I wish they'd leave." Real talk, y'all. We all know we do it.
But what if the thought was instead, "Welcome! What is your name? Can I help you?" <<< that's radical grace. That's God's grace and love that Jesus would've shown someone if he were once again in our flesh wearing bodies.
Carl preached hard and ended with a heart wrenching story about inviting a homeless veteran on the side of a dark alley next to his church, INTO his church one morning. The man kindly explained he had no place in a church, and that he couldn't and wouldn't go anywhere without 'this'- his beer. Carl (the pastor) bought the man a beer, and brought him inside with him.
That's right. The man wanted a beer before he would go into church, and the pastor got that for him and accompanied him into a house of the Lord, standing right by his side.
Carl explained how the man sat on the front row with him as his guest until (to the mans surprise) CARL got up to preach. By the end of the sermon the man had put down his beer, and faithfully had both hands in the air worshipping, after accepting Christ as his Lord and Savior during that service.
Another woman from the gathering came up afterwards to tell Pastor Carl she was leaving his church as "..things had gone too far. You had a man drinking a beer in church today! You're supporting that! I can see that mans sin!"
Carl responded with, "and I can smell your pride."
He went on to ask the woman, since when did we become more worried about the sin than the soul of someone? The human being and beating heart underneath the sin of the flesh? If we as a people, as a world, as a church, or as a company at a work place were more concerned with the people, rather than the flaws of the people, life could be drastically different!
A single beer bought, brought this man to the beauty of the grace of God.
I left church with tears in my eyes because of how GOOD God is and the ways His spirit has been fueling my day to day choices and moments; tears in my eyes because of the new grace I'm learning I have within me but may not always fully tap into.
I headed up the road only a block away from the church where there's a gas station. I've seen many homeless-looking people around this area, smack in the middle of Buckhead and less than a mile from Passion City; essentially right in my neighborhood. My last post I spoke about one of the men who I stopped to give my leftovers to one day; this is the same spot I was sitting next to now in post-church traffic.
As I looked around, I saw one man in dirty clothes and a pink beanie looking around for whatever he was looking for on the ground. I had a 6 pack of hand warmers in my drink holder next to me that were there from a failed attempt to hand them out on Friday night when it was snowing. It was decently warm yesterday afternoon, but I figured he could use a hand warmer later when it got cold. I had the time, so I stopped.
I found out his last name was Woods; "...they call me Wood for short."
"Well Wood, I'm Angelica!"
"I'm gonna call you Angel."
I asked him if he could use the hand warmers and he said yes and thanked me. I noticed he had a piece of dry granola type bark in his hands; I wondered if he had just found that on the ground. I asked him if he'd had any lunch and he told me that granola bark was it.
"Do you like burgers and fries, Wood?"
"I like burgers but you can keep the fries; I need the beef!"
I asked him if he'd be around that area for a while and he said yes. I told him I would be back soon.
After making a few stops I needed to at a couple of stores, I grabbed two cheeseburgers and a water bottle for him and headed back to the gas station. To my surprise, I didn't see Wood anywhere.
"He's here somewhere I thought.." so I drove around the block looking.
I pulled behind the Kroger there on Lavista and Piedmont and circled back up the hill. There was another homeless man on the street with a sign that said "homeless birthday." I had more hand warmers and two cheeseburgers, so I gave him one of each.
As I came around the corner looking for Wood, I spotted his pink beanie. He was at the gas station next door to where I had first met him. I pulled in and rolled my window down.
"You ready for this burger, bud?"
Before answering me, he shakily got up from the curb where he was sitting, came over to my driver side tire with a towel in his hand and got down on his knees to start shining my wheels.
"Na uh! Get up! You're not cleaning my wheels. I just want you to have this burger!"
He happily took the bag from me, and then handed me a dollar as I handed him the water bottle. I told him I didn't need his dollar that I just wanted him to eat, but then realized his reasoning.
"They say I'm unruly, but I'm really not."
(This man had the kindest, but most lost and confused demeanor; possibly on some kind of drug maybe)
"I just need you to go inside and get me a beer."
"I can't do that for you, bud. I just need you to drink this water."
"I know but it helps with my anxiety and it'll help me to digest my food better."
He reached his single dollar out to me again. His eyes had such calmness but simultaneously such desperation.
"Grace," I thought.
"Souls over sin."
"Love over pride."
Just like Pastor Carls' story, a single beer bought could bring this man to see the beauty of the grace of God.
I went inside and got Wood the beer he wanted. But it wasn't going to end there for me.
I came back out and decided to sit and talk with him for a while. I didn't have anywhere else to be for another 30 minutes or so, so why not?
I asked Wood about his life and he went on to tell me about living and growing up in PA, how he'd moved here with his wife because she could type and get an office job, and he was doing labor work. They'd been married many years, but eventually she'd left him. He paused many times during this heartfelt remembrance story as tears swelled in his eyes. He was most likely on some kind of drug or sedative by the way he spoke, but in these moments of storytelling, he was feeling real life emotions.
He told me he stayed around this area of Piedmont "working"; shining wheels and washing windows on people's cars. Piedmont is where Wood lives.
As we sat and talked, another man soon approached, one of Woods friends, named Gabriel... same name as the angel that brought news to Mary that she would give birth to Jesus. Of all the homeless men in Atlanta, this was the 3rd one I had encountered in 15 minutes with a heavenly name like that.
Gabriel had an excited energy about him, and I could tell he was high on some kind of an upper. More than likely crack. His eyes were yellowed and glossy. Gabriel informed me that this was a weed, crack, drug area, but he could tell I was "pure and not about that life."
"I'm a man of lucifer ya know! You ordained! I just know it!"
I was quick to inform him that I wasn't ordained. Nor was him being a man of lucifer the case in mine or Gods eyes. I told him I was just like him and had made many of my own poor decisions in my past as well. "I'm just like you, man. You and I are no different, Gabriel."
Gabriel decided to take a minute and sat down on the curb with me and Wood to hangout and talk as I got out my Advent book written by my pastor at Passion, Louie Giglio. It's a 25-day journey leading up to Christmas called "Waiting for God." The same book I was gifted and stuck on my shelf last Christmas was the same book I was using as a tool of hope for this one; and maybe it would be such for these two men. I hadn't read the devotional for the day yet, and what the heck better time to do so then now, on the side of a gas station, sitting with two homeless men.
Not to my surprise, because God works in miraculous ways, the daily scripture and devotion was spot on:
Psalm 127: 2 // In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat-- for he grants sleep to those he loves.
"You are his beloved-- His son or daughter by faith in Christ. Trust your perfect Father's heart. He will give you exactly what you need, and as you seek Him, He will even give you the desires of your heart. If you are truly waiting on God, you won't miss anything. When you walk with God, you always arrive on time." -Louie Giglio
Wood listened as Gabriel gave his random "word blurts" to the wind while I read. I told both of them that if they ever needed comfort, "look up," as Katherine Wolf preached about at The Grove this past week. That God may not give you a hot meal in the moment, or magically take you out of the cold tonight, but you can find comfort that He's with you, me, us, everyone; all the time. Gabriel told me he was an army veteran that fought for his country before he got to the streets.
I wondered what happened that got these men here. Wood in a loving marriage moving to Atlanta for new work. Gabriel as a man that served our country before he served the streets of Atlanta with fixes. I wondered when someone could've shown them extra love at a tough time, but chose not to.
The other man I gave the burger to came back by us, a friend of theirs as well, and I met him too; Jimmy. Gabriel and I talked back and fourth as Wood drank his beer and we even sang a bit of "Free Falling" together; one of Gabriel's favorite songs. "She's a good girl, loves her mama. Loves Jesus, and America too!"
I hugged Gabriel as I told him to remember me cause I would be back to find them again soon. He happily chattered on at me before fist pumping my hand and walking away talking to himself; but smiling.
As I got in my car to pull away, Wood grabbed the dirty styrofoam Dunkin Donuts cup that Gabriel had left behind, swigged whatever was in it, and approached my moving car. I stopped a final time to roll down my window.
"Here. You can keep this to remember me by. Lemme write something."
As I watched Wood pull a tiny pen piece out of his pocket (not a real pen, but the skinny stick part inside of a pen that holds the ink) I couldn't help but cry. He had nothing to give but a single used styrofoam cup to show his gratitude to me, but he was going to give it to me regardless.
"Remember this Wood. If nothing else, remember that today in these moments, you and I were different and felt different than the rest of our day."
He handed me the cup and it read:
'Daniel Quentin Woods
I Luv U!'
The 'I love you' was written in nearly the same handwriting, and with the same silly spelling as my Dad used to write to me. "I Luv U ABKT!" (Short for Angel Baby Katie as he used to call me)
After this 30 or so odd minute experience I pulled out of the gas station and sobbed while singing one of my favorite songs, King of My Heart:
"You are good, good, oh! You are good, good, oh oh!// You're never gonna let, never gonna let me down!"
I may not have gotten the gospel into these men's un-sober minds when I read that devotion. I may not have brought them to know Jesus. I may not have given them a home or a place to stay, but I did, for even a moment, help their day be a little different or give them a little hope than they'd had the rest of the day... and maybe I didn't really do that, but rather God did that through me.
For those moments there was feeling, there was food, there was laughter & smiling, and even singing!
Grace from a beer.
Fellowship with new friends.
Getting into the trenches with people in your own neighborhood.
Loving like Jesus loved.
I have a long way to go in learning more about these ideas, but God is preparing my heart to share more and more and more of these moments of grace; simply because I can.
We are each here on this earth for purpose and meaning; every single one of us. Every day it's a choice to live ordinarily or extraordinarily. 30 minutes was all it took from me yesterday. 30 minutes, a couple burgers, and a willing heart, to even if for a moment, share hope and grace that may not have been shown to those men all day, all week, or all month even.
It's my prayer that writing out these experiences may inspire someone else to live and love fearlessly like this. Lynne's book and Louie and Carls teachings surely have done that for me.
This Christmas, remember that grace and love are the real purposes of this season... at least I think so. Us living with such intention is an amazing birthday mission for Jesus this year! I don't and can't do things like this as often as I may like to, because like you, I have my own life and issues to worry about. But my goodness, from now on, when I have the time, I'm going to take it.
A year ago I began attending Passion City and my life, spirit, and soul has been radically changing moment by moment, day by day. It's all simply from the grace of God, and the way that church and their people and their teachings have translated the gospel to me. If you've been against or resistant to or far away from faith (for a season, or for your whole life even) but may want to know more about how God has shifted my soul and heart through this vessel of a church home, please reach out to me. Please. After a year in those 4 walls, and ALLOWING God to wreck into my spirit to make me new and whole again, my life will never be the same.
No matter how hard our struggles are or how deep in despair our lives may be in, God is good... LITERALLY All. The. Time.
Wherever you are in life today, remember this: grace and sunshine to share are ALWAYS within you. It's all in making the choice to search for them inside yourself, finding the heartbeat of them, and putting them back out into the world. We are all capable of that.
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