Hey lovers of life! How are you feeling today! I hope these words find your eyes in a place of peace and happiness wherever you are! Maybe it's been a great week so far. Maybe you're having one of the worst days imaginable. Wherever you may be, remember, you're here right now. You've made it this far today, and with some deep breaths, and gratitude, you'll make it til tomorrow as well!
Regardless of where you are, I think it's more than a necessary time for some inspiration and motivation in each of our lives. I know I have surely been eager for the time to write, and with recent world events, I'm happy I have that time today.
Many of you may have seen the Facebook live video that I posted this past weekend. If you haven't, I encourage you to go peep my profile and watch it, as it may be one of the most important and weighted things I feel that I've said in a long time, on or off this blog.
To recap, I've been super heavy in thought about the FL shooting last week.
How?
Why?
Was it preventable?
Could it happen again tomorrow?
What could we do to make sure it DOESN'T happen again?
These questions were weighing on me over and over again and I kept asking myself, "If I can't change the laws today, and I can't bring those children's lives back, then what can I do right here, right now, that can make the chances of this happening again less and less? What can I do today? What can I do right now? What can WE do right now?"
And the answer is very simple, but very profound. We can genuinely connect with each other in a way we never have before. Now. Today. Tomorrow. Forever. We can learn to reconnect with each other as human beings... simply because we are all human beings that need connection.
I've been reading a book recently where author Joe McQ says the following: "We humans are not meant to depend on our individual selves; we are meant to rely on each other. God didn't intend for us to be self-reliant; we are designed to rely on each other. And we are designed to rely on God."
I wondered to myself what kind of support system of love Nicholas Cruz may have had; who he had to rely on. What type of genuine human connection did he have? I wondered if any of the people that said he was the one they thought would shoot up the school ever looked at him beyond his "scary unfriendly demeanor" and asked him what made him happy... what were he things that fueled him in life? What were the things that made his life meaningful? Did anyone ever reach out to him about simply him and his feelings?
And furthermore, did anyone that loved Jesus know Nicholas? If so, did they ever tell him that he too was loved? That he had a Heavenly Father that YEARNED for his love, and that loved him regardless of his past choices or decisions in life?
These questions kept bumping around in my mind. They still are today, but I'm doing my personal best to do something about them. I'm consciously choosing to make efforts to connect and care more for people, because honestly, it's 100% necessary. It's a duty to humanity that you and I have and will have as long as the world is turning.
So how do we put more human connection, genuine care for people, and goodness that I'm referring to into our lives?
Recently I was passing a construction site up the road from my condo. As I approached the red light ahead, I noticed out of the corner of my eye a homeless man talking to one of the construction workers. They were looking at each other and in some sort of personal conversation. I saw the worker hand the man some sort of food, pat him on the shoulder and walk back over to his fellow employee with a clip board... and just like that, he was back to work. And with food in hand, the dirty older man just continued his walk up the road.
Why do I speak of this? Because in that moment, a man was giving something to someone else outside of his daily routine and busy work schedule on a construction site. In that moment, they were connected. In that moment, that man was receiving nutrition, and some simple love and care simultaneously. And in that moment, without either of them knowing, I was watching from my car window being inspired to do the same.
Love breeds love, which breeds love.
Recently, two of our regulars at Houstons were dining in one Saturday evening. They're a couple that is full of joy and encouragement and stories like you've never heard before; the kind of people that literally light up a room by just smiling or laughing. As they were getting ready to leave, they stood up from their table to give me a hug. At the same time, the couple in the booth behind them was also getting up from their seats to leave. Due to this, our hug-exchange was directly in the way of them getting around us. Instead of just moving out of the way though, our fabulous regulars not only apologized, but offered open arms out to this other couple of two complete strangers they had never met before. "Would y'all like a hug too!?" And surprisingly enough, they accepted! Each person hugged the other with the biggest smiles of joy beaming across their faces; laughter and chatter going back and fourth too. Mind you, this was a white couple, and a black couple, making this beautiful hug-exchange.
As I stood nearby with tears swelling in my eyes, the black woman began to pass me as I exclaimed, "We may as well have one more!" And with another hardy laugh, WE hugged too!
As we released from our embrace, I said to the woman, "Ya know, if life were more like this all the time, we probably wouldn't have half of the problems we do in the world today." This woman turned right back around to me and said, "We wouldn't have a one."
What if when you left a restaurant, each time, you turned to someone of a different race or sexuality than you and offered them a hug? I mean seriously, think about what that would look like in this world. It's 'not socially normal,' right? But what if it WERE?
New loving normals in this life begin with us. With me. With you.
Lastly, I was at a Mexican restaurant with my best friend recently and we were tired and simply catching up for a quick late night bite. Our waitress had started off rather quiet for the first couple minutes of interaction with us.
When she came back to the table to mix our guacamole we had ordered, I sparked conversation... not just for the sake of doing it, but to really learn something about this woman. I made direct eye contact and asked her very genuinely, "How's your night been tonight?"
That was all I did... just asked her a genuine, simple five word question. Her response was nothing short of weighted. She spoke easily at first about it being a slower night and how that was tough because her previous restaurant she worked at was busier. I continued to converse with her and found out she was putting herself through school and working there with her boyfriend to make the money they needed to live and go to school with. She continued to tell us that some of her family in Mexico had been ill and she had been stressing and worrying about that on top of everything. The more we listened, the more she shared.
Y'all...all I asked was "how's your night been tonight?" And this young woman, about my age, had probably been holding onto those feelings and circumstances for a long time that day. But from one question, from one person, she was given an opportunity to relieve some of that emotional weight in conversation... with us two strangers.
Honestly, the girl talked a little longer than I would've even desired! Marissa and I looked at each other and smiled after we walked away, and she said "you're going to tip her extra aren't you?" And of course we BOTH did.
It didn't matter that her talking and story took away from our visiting time. It didn't matter that we let go of near 100% tips to our bills that we hadn't planned to spend. It mattered that we had interacted with a total stranger in a way that was special and day-changing for both her AND us, and left her day with maybe a little more hope than we came into her having... more hope for her, and more gratitude within us.
So here's my ideas for the rest of 2018, for navigating your own experiences of grace and curls in life (& hopefully finding more moments of grace than anything!)
- At least once a day, make eye contact, use a genuine tone of voice, and ask anyone you come across "How's your day/night been so far?" This goes for the barista at Starbucks, the gas station attendant, the grocery store bagger, the stranger waiting with you at the bus stop or riding the elevator... anyone! Don't just ask to ask, ask to know! See how listening to others with a little more care and connection than usual could help someone... and could help you!
- Each week, ask yourself, 'who did I help?' I've been making this a goal to go back in my previous week each Sunday and take inventory of who I helped. Did I do something for someone? Did I inspire someone in some way so much that they let me know it? Did I bring someone closer to Jesus? Take this mini-inventory and then start writing it down each time! What would your year look like if every week you were helping someone in some way? Maybe it's the same person every week, and maybe it's someone different!
- Each day, ask yourself, 'what did I do to make ME better today.' If we aren't taking care of our own minds, bodies, and spirits, then we give too much away and have nothing left within. Be careful not to let this happen. Make it a goal that everyday, you're working out, reading positive affirmations, taking part in a group therapy or study, making yourself coffee first thing in the morning, smiling more often! Whatever it is that makes you better, do some of that every day!
The world sometimes seems like it is falling apart by the second nowadays, but that doesn't have to be the case. We can't ignore the sadness or struggles in life, but we can enforce the goodness.
How do you live your life? Wallowing in the pains of your world or the world around you, or making conscious effort to make things better for everyone? Think about it, and assess it! I believe that we are the change we want to see in this world, and I believe it is within us now, and can start today.
I've been listening to a song from the new Passion 2018 album on repeat lately and the lyrics say this:
"Oh Lord, change me like only you can, here with my heart in your hands. Father I pray, make me more like Jesus. This world is dying to know who you are, you've shown us the way to your heart. So Father I pray, make me more like Jesus."
This is my anthem. This is my New Years resolution; that myself and the people around me will all pray to be more like Jesus; that we will pray to be better and more loving than we were yesterday. That's my prayer for me and my prayer for you.
Ask those questions, challenge yourself, love on a stranger, connect and listen. We can do this. And we can do it today! And if you decide to join me in this 3-part challenge, let me know how it goes for you! Let the world know! Share your joy with me and circulate it to those around you. It all begins within, and we've ALL got it within! Find it inside you.
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